Why Music is Important to Me by Melissa La Fountain

There are times when words just do not suffice for expressing feelings and thoughts. People often turn to music as a way of describing what they feel and who they are, because it seems like it’s easier to understand feelings when they’re described by someone else.

Music is one of the main things that has been helping me through one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. Seven years ago, my grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, a degenerative disease that destroys a person’s memory. At first, I didn’t know how to feel. My best friend had started to forget things that he had always known. He forgot who I was, he forgot who my father was...it was unbearable to watch him try to remember certain details about his life that had clearly disappeared. Eventually, his memories weren’t just the only thing that had dissolved. He stopped being “Grandpa,” and slowly became nothing more than a shell of what he used to be. This man, who was once so full of life, had lost almost every aspect of who he was. I was, and still am, utterly heartbroken.

Ed Sheeran is probably my favorite artist. I fell in love with his music after his first album, and have been hooked ever since. Specifically, the song Afire Love is the one I relate to the most. He wrote it about his grandfather, who was also diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. There are two sets of lyrics in the song that really hit home for me.

The first lyric is, “Things were all good yesterday / and then the devil took your memory.” Most people with Alzheimer’s have good and bad days. I have experienced multiple instances where there was one day that my grandpa was his old self, laughing and telling jokes and recalling things from his past, but then the next day he would be a shell again. It was as if someone had stolen it away from him.

The second lyric is, “My father told me, son / It’s not his fault he doesn’t know your face.” Probably the hardest thing about my grandfather’s illness was the first time he forgot who I was. It had been a fear of mine since I’d heard of his diagnosis, and when it happened I felt as if I was living in a nightmare and couldn’t wake up. I realized that he couldn’t help it, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

I love music because it reminds me that I am never alone. I didn’t have any friends at the time with grandparents with Alzheimer’s, and I didn’t want to talk to my family about it, so I felt like I was the only one that felt the way I did. Then, I heard that song, and I didn’t feel so alone anymore.